My Spidey Sense vs. My Big Mouth: When Words Go Wrong (and How to Fix It)

Picture this: you're at a restaurant, you order a burger, and what arrives looks suspiciously like a flattened pancake sandwich. You politely point this out, and the server's response? "Well, that's what the chef calls a 'rustic flat-top experience.'" Yeah, rustic.

We've all been there, right? That moment when you're trying to explain why your hotel room's "ocean view" is actually a parking lot view, or why the store's "helpful assistant" just rearranged all your groceries into a precarious tower of doom. And then, the dreaded response: " We can't help with that. It is what it is." Cue internal screaming. Suddenly, you're not just annoyed about the pancake burger/parking lot/grocery disaster; you're defending your feelings of expectations.

But then, there's the flip side. You complain, and someone actually listens. They don't argue; they just say, "Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! Let me fix that for you!" Suddenly, you're all sunshine and rainbows. "You know what? This place is actually amazing! They get me!" It's like magic!

Now, let's bring it home to my world of assisted living and memory care. Recently, I had a little "oopsie-daisy" moment with a resident's family. I was trying to convey my deep concern about a situation, but my words came out... well, let's just say they landed like a lead balloon at a balloon animal convention.

The family? Instantly on the defensive. I could practically hear the "Trust Meter" plummeting. It took me months of almost daily relationship-repairing to smooth things over. Months! All because of a few poorly chosen words.

Lesson learned: my "spidey sense" better be tingling 24/7! If you feel a vibe shift, a hesitation, a hint of a raised eyebrow, backpedal! Ask yourself:

• Are they feeling heard? Or like I just quoted a robot manual?

• Can we find a solution that doesn't involve wrestling a grumpy badger?

• Is my pride trying to convince me I'm always right? (Spoiler alert: it's lying).

  
  

Most situations have a solution that will make everyone happy. Sometimes, you just gotta swallow that pride and say, "I'm sorry. Let's find a way to make this work!" Because let’s be real, who wants to deal with a grumpy family or resident day after day? Apologizing isn't weakness; it's like hitting the "reset" button on a relationship.

Dealing with families in ALF/MC is like navigating a minefield of emotions, but hey, we're all in this together! If you're stuck in a tricky situation, give us a shout! We're here to help you turn those "rustic flat-top experiences" into "five-star, make-your-day" moments and make your daily work easier!